Jan 12th - Jan 19th 2009

Ok, I had to put something down I guess. It has been a week since the last blog entry and I am getting complaints from one or two people who say they need their fix. Really?.....Do some people regard my blog as a sort of soap opera? If that is true then I am flattered, nay, humbled by that and I thank you.
I would also like to thank my manager, my stylist, my driver, my mum, my cats, my newsagent……(Cue acceptance speech and crocodile tears of greater than Gwyneth Paltrow-esque proportions) etc etc.
The real reason for the delay between entries us simply that I have little to tell you. I am working very hard, and slowly coming round to the India way of things ,but my life consists of going from the villa to the office, back to the villa, to the office, and then the villa and so on, and so on (you get the idea). I have no fear of hard work of course, and in truth I would rather be busy than not, but I would like to go and see a bit more of the city, if only so that I have more to report in this blog. At the moment I feel like I need to be near my laptop all the time in case a call comes through and my blackberry hangs, like a ball and chain, from belt almost constantly.
I have no doubt it will get better so please don’t misinterpret this a moan, because it’s not. I am only human (sorry ladies, I am not really a god despite my heavenly appearance), and there are times when it gets to me that’s all I am saying.
The only thing I have to report is that Wednesday the 14th was a national holiday out here. We had an email come round the office wishing us a happy “Pongal” and announcing festivities would begin downstairs. I was confused at first as I had always thought Pongal was that Icelandic (or is Norweigen?) children’s television programme about an incomprehensible penguin who gets himself into all sorts of mischief? I had to admit I found it odd that he would be revered by a country with a one billion-plus population but I was willing to go with it……
Believe it or not, and to my lasting disappointment, Pongal was not about the penguin. It was in fact a kite festival………..I ask you, an entire sub-continent takes a day off work or school so that it can go kite flying – is that anymore ridiculous than worshipping that bloody penguin? It is also quite sad that, we in the UK, cannot get a day off to celebrate one of our national achievements such as Trafalgar or Waterloo, and yet these people down tools to go and play with what is effectively a childs toy. I therefore declare, right here and now, that January 31st will henceforth be forever known as “Space Hopper Day” in the UK. You must all rush out and get yours, whilst stocks last, and then take the day off to race around on your space hoppers and bollocks to the government! Hurrah!
The laughable truth is this, the locals are not stupid. There was little more than feigned interest in flying a kite from pretty much everyone. I had expected to see a sea of kites fighting with the birds and clouds for their own little bit of sky but no……….there were a few kites yes, mainly flown by children, whilst everyone else saw it as simply a day off work. See, we are not that different are we?
Sadly I was working pretty much all day at the villa because we had a full flying programme that day. Guess it would not have been a day off had I been in the UK so I haven’t really lost anything. We did manage to squeeze in another barbecue at the end of the day however that included drinking and much merry-making of course………
Thursday, Friday and Saturday passed with little that I can report. Besides which, it is all work stuff (I was in the office all 3 days) and you don’t want to read about that do you?
Sunday came and I got my lie in bed that I had been so looking forward to. I had actually crashed out at 9pm Saturday night and went right through to Sunday morning at 9 am. Bliss!.
It was Novotel day today and I was determined to enjoy it this week. Not having been sabotaged by my villa mates the night before, I had woken up with clear head and empty stomach for a change. This meant I could actually get my moneys worth out of the ‘all you can eat buffet’ and ‘fully inclusive’ bar for a change……and I did. Beer, wine and vodka and orange later and the pool beckoned. You know the rest and if you don’t, just read last Sunday’s blog entry!!
Back to the villa and it was West Ham vs Fulham on the box. Sports channels in India cost just over one pound a month, yes, one bloody pound a month! How cool is that eh? And they show the 3pm Saturday games they are not allowed to show in the UK in case people decide to watch it on TV instead of actually going to the stadium. West Ham won 3-1, played well, good game………..and I had another beer. Love it!
Have I told you about Manuel? He is our night watchman that lives in a small hut at the back of the villa. I guess his main job is to watch over the place, and let us in when we arrive back late for whatever reason. He doesn’t really have much to do, and despite his lack of English, he is a fairly pleasant chap. You will find him most mornings washing down the driveway, or performing some other task becoming of a caretaker. He also comes in very handy when we are running low on beer as we just give him some money and send him up the road for additional “supplies”. The reason I have christened him Manuel is simple……every morning we have this little exchange whereby he will say “good morning sir”, and I reply “good morning” in that just woken up sort of way I am sure you are all familiar with. He will then say ”how are you?”, and it is how he says this that makes him Manuel. Every syllable is exaggerated in that way commonly found amongst those whose first language is not English. It doesn’t translate well into text I’ll admit but I keep waiting for him to say “I am learning English….I learn it from a booook”. Add this to the ‘tash he sports, ignore the skin pigmentation and he could almost be from “Barthelona!”