03rd Feb - 13 Feb 2009

I had the day off work on Tuesday so I elected to go shopping. I needed some clothes so why not eh? Having only found out at 8:00am in the morning that I was off that day, I decided to travel in with the usual transport to the office (as I was up anyway) and get them to drop me off at the shopping mall. Bad move, what I did not know was that nothing opens in India before 11am! So there I was, stood in the middle of the busiest part of town, waiting for these shops to open. I had a wander round, took a tuk-tuk ride, so the time passed quickly enough.
Whilst I was sat there a tuk-tuk pulled up in the centre of the roundabout. It is not unusual to see vehicles just randomly stop, or swerve all over the place so I thought nothing of it. However, it was clearly the wrong move as he was approached by what I later found out to be the Indian equivalent of a traffic warden. This guy was wearing a uniform, and carrying a big stick that must have been 4 foot long so I assumed he was police but apparently not. An argument ensued and without warning the warden just started kicking the passenger in the back of the tuk-tuk. He must have launched about six or seven kicks onto this guy, for no obvious reason……..guess they just don’t issue parking tickets out here and that’s how they deal with the problem. I’ll take the fine if it’s all the same to you?
I also observed how the majority of Hyderabadis get to work and I have to see, everything you hear is true. There is an etiquette for buses out here….women get on the front and men get on at the back. None of the buses have doors, some of them don’t even have windows, and I’ll bet none of them have air-conditioning. People pack themselves in so tightly that it cannot be a pleasant experience travelling on one but for about a rupee or two per journey, can you really complain? All the guide books and websites suggest that, whilst travelling on public transport is not inherently dangerous for westerners, you are a target for pick-pockets. Given how beggars gravitate towards us ‘pale-faces’ I can well believe that.
Even though one bus I saw was so packed that there was not an inch of wasted space inside, people still tried to get on it. As the bus drove away there were several people hanging off the back door, grabbing onto what they could, and with no more than half of one foot touching the door sill. In the UK, bus surfing is a dangerous craze only undertaken by people under the influence of some kind of narcotic or maybe alcohol, here it is a way of getting to work!
Having done my shopping I decided to have some lunch and was pleasantly surprised to see a McDonalds. I am not a massive fan of huge global organisations that pillage the world of its natural resources, nor am I an anarchist that seeks to bring these conglomerates down (I am English remember, all I’ll do is quietly grumble about it but ultimately do nothing). I must admit I felt cheap for succumbing to this little corner of familiarity, but comforted at the same time, that was until I went in. What is the last thing you would expect from Maccy D’s? What are they famous for? If you said to yourself, what is the first word that comes out of my mouth if someone asked me to describe them in one word, and one word alone?.......Burgers yes?. Well this is India, and not even McDonalds staff will cook beef out here. So it was fish or chicken, or rice (yes rice). As a chicken burger was the closest thing I could get to a piece of home I elected to have that. It was OK…..wasn’t the same though.
With the shopping done, I headed back to the villa. You never need to flag down a tuk-tuk in Hyderabad, they simply approach you. I thought I had got the haggling thing sorted as well. I am quite firm with everyone, I state my price and rarely allow myself to be shifted from what I have stated as being prepared to pay.
This guy was different though. He was more experienced in haggling and equally (if not more so) inflexible in what he wanted. It just goes to show that, no matter how good you think are at something, there is always someone better at what it is you do. I got the whole story……. his 3 kids, how poor he was, how many people he had to support, blah blah blah. He quoted 200rupees for what I wanted, I said 150. Eventually we met in the middle at 175. A small victory for me so I was happy, especially against such an experienced adversary!
One of the things I have been told, by more than one Indian, is that we British left the country 50 years too early. Having not been proud of our colonial past I had ignored these comments at first. However, when they were repeated so many times I started to believe them. The road system is knackered, the country disorganised and nothing changes. There is no obvious sense of leadership or direction. I am not colonialist as I have said, but am starting to see why we should have perhaps stayed. The fact we came here is wrong of course, but having done what we did, leaving the job half done was not particularly bright either.
This week I thought all my Christmases had come at once. Why you ask?, well I didn’t get a huge pay rise or have Kylie Minogue pester me for my phone number (sadly), I simply got a tin of corned beef and some Yorkshire tea bags. Not very exciting I hear you say, well when you live in a country that does not have Corned Beef, or some decent tea bags, you start to miss certain things after nearly three montsh I can tell you……and it’s surprising what you do start to miss. If anyone wants to set up a smuggling ring that can sneak in a Peter’s Sausage Roll and a Ginsters Pasty you have my number…..we’ll talk!!!
Hope all are well :-)